The Bad Guys
by The Obsidian Angel
Summary: Wonder what bad guys do when they're not... being bad? Heres your window into the world of private parties, promotions, and forbidden love And we dont mean the S&S kind. But of course theres that too
1. Evil and Boring Paperwork

The Atrox sat at its dark, wooden desk and proceeded to do boring paperwork. Day after day, it was more boring paperwork. He never had any fun. Because he was the Atrox and atroxes didn't have fun. They did atroxy things… like paperwork, while their followers were out partying, eating taffy apples, and attracting scores of bitches. He had never partied or eaten taffy apples. And the only woman he'd pursued had sacrificed herself rather than date him. Life was bad for the Atrox. The followers had all the fun.

And he had all the paperwork.

"Sir!" A boy in boxers immediately sprang into the office, his spiky dark hair standing on end.

"All the hot dogs are missing from the cafeteria!" yet another boy moaned from his side, white blonde wisps in his watery blue eyes.

The Atrox groaned. These two idiots bothered him every morning. He'd assigned them to Stanton, but as usual, he'd found some way to ditch them. "Well, what do you want _me_ to do?"

They both exchanged glances and then turned back to face their master. The youngest raised his hand slowly. "Fix it?"

The Atrox's eyes lit on fire. "DO I LOOK LIKE A COOK TO YOU?"

They only stared.

He sighed and reached up to remove the large chef's hat from his head. He'd forgotten he'd left it on that morning after his shift in the kitchen. Now they knew his terrible secret. Dammit. "You should have gotten up earlier. You know how fast those hot dogs go".

"But it's Tymmie's birthday!" The oldest ran his fingers through a discouraged Tymmie's hair. "Tymmie always eats hot dogs for his birthday. It's tradition".

"Why does he need a birthday anyway? He's not even alive anymore!"

Silence swept through out the room.

Finally Karyl spoke up. "You're a cruel man, Atrox". He pulled Tymmie towards the door. "Come on Tymmie. We know when we're not wanted".

They both started out of the room and the Atrox lowered his eyes back to the endless pile of boring paperwork when…

"Sir, the prisoners wish to see you", the secretary rang.

The Atrox blasted a hole through his pencil sharpener. "Right now? CAN'T THEY SEE I'M BUSY?"

"No sir".

"I'll be right down".

The Atrox kicked the desk out of his way and stormed out of the room, mentally commanding some lowly follower in the hallway who would probably steal all of his money while he was gone to clean up the mess he made. He kicked a coke bottle out of the way as he neared the prison area of his headquarters. Who did they think he was? GOD? That he could just magically appear and provide FEAR and SUSPENSE for the readers? He was the ATROX, dammit! And he was getting too old for this ostentatious bullshit. If they wanted a thriller, they should have hired Dracula or something… He finally made his way to the daughters' cell, making sure that his shadowy form was fifty times it's usual height and his voice, much deeper.

"MWAHAHAHAHA!" he forced a maniacal laugh. "YOU CALLED THE INCREDIBLE POWER OF THE ATROX?"

The wimpy blonde took one shaky step forward. "Please. We need to eat!"

He rolled his eyes. He was soooooooooooooo not letting them eat.

"No, Vanessa!" Serena took the girl by the arm. "Don't beg them".

"DUUUN BEEEEEG DEEEEEM!" The Atrox mocked.

"What?" Serena looked up in fear.

"NOTHING!" he boomed. "SHUT UP OR… OR YOU'LL NEVER KNOW THE SECRET OF LIFE!"

They blinked.

"Uh… gah… STOP CALLING ME DOWN HERE!" He roared a bit and added a few lightening strikes for good measure.

"It's important" Serena urged.

"WHAT?"

She nodded towards her wrists. "Can you please loosen these chains a bit?"

The Atrox shook in rage. How dare they ask HIM! The ATROX! To untighten chains when he could be doing boring paperwork? The audacity.

"That job", he hissed. "Is for the prison guard".

Serena raised an eyebrow. "The prison guard?"

He slapped a shadowy hand to where his forehead would be if he had one and pointed to a nerdy kid in the hallway. "Prison guard". He pointed to himself. "Atrox. Prison guard. Atrox. Prison guard! Atrox!"

"Oh, that guy" Serena nodded. "We asked him. He wouldn't listen".

"And he touched me in an inappropriate place", Vanessa put in.

The Atrox sighed and blasted the boy into oblivion. "Do I have to do everything around- YOU THERE!" He pointed to Tymmie who had just happened to turn the corner with Karyl. "You're the new prison guard!"

Tymmie scratched his head. "But I don't have time to be prison guard. It's my birthday".

"I don't care!"

"What happened to Jake?" Tymmie whimpered more and more.

"I murdered him!"

"Jake! No!"

"And his name was John!"

"Nooo!" Tymmie sobbed into Karyl's shirt. The older boy looked up with venomous eyes. "It's his birthday!"

"I **do not** care!"

Karyl slammed his fist into the wall. "You're not fit to be human!"

"That's why I'm an atrox!"

"No! That's why we're cursed! That's why there are no hot dogs!" He shook in rage. "I HATE YOU!" Yelling wildly, he took off down the hall.

"That's right!" the Atrox roared. "Run like the pussy you are! See if I care!" He looked around to see the daughters and Tymmie scowling at him.

"Right… make me the bad guy…"

Hours later…

The Atrox sat at it's dark wooden desk and proceeded to do boring paperwork with a terrible migraine. "Oh, woe is me", he moaned.

"Sir, Yvonne is here to see you".

Well, that beat Tymmie and Karyl any day…

"Send her in".

With that, the large stone doors swung open to reveal Yvonne in a pointy party hat and two beers in each hand. "Atrox, baby!" she gushed, nearly spilling the liquid all over his good carpet. He frowned and moved toward the trap floor door button. Every evil mastermind had one.

"I came to get you!" Yvonne slurred. "You're missing the party of the year, maaaaaaaan".

He blinked. The party of the year? "I'm _invited_?"

Yvonne nodded drunkenly.

The Atrox started to bounce wildly in his office chair. "Wow! I've never been to a real party before! Should I drink? Dance on tables?"

"Cmooooooooon!" Yvonne dragged him out of the room. A huge grin was plastered across his face. Goodbye boring paperwork. Hello party. No more Mr. Nice Atrox.

"We're here" Yvonne beamed.

His eyes widened as they entered the grand ballroom and strobe light immediately hit his face. Heavy metal blasted through out the room and he grabbed at his defenseless ears. That's when he spotted Tymmie.

"WHO INVITED YOU TO MY PARTY?" the boy challenged.

"Yvo- HEY!" The Atrox's eyes glowed red. "I thought I told you to watch those goddesses".

"I brought them to the party!" Tymmie pointed to the blonde one who was drunk and stumbling across the dance floor laughing incessantly.

"WHERE'S THE OTHER ONE?"

"Under the table" He pointed towards a large black banquet table that was whispering quietly. Wait a minute… The Atrox blasted he table into oblivion to reveal Serena and-

"STANTON?" he bellowed. "What are you doing?"

A peeved Stanton looked up from Serena and crossed his arms. "I don't know. Minding my own business?"

The Atrox gasped. "HOW DARE YOU TAKE THAT TONE OF VOICE WITH ME!"

"You don't control my life!"

"I own you, young man!"

"But I love her!"

"GAH!" The Atrox booed and hissed. "Go to your evil lair and think about what you just said!"

"No!" Stanton stood. "I'm not listening to you anymore".

"You have to!" the Atrox reminded him. "You're the prince of night!"

"Well, maybe I don't want to be the Prince of Night anymore!"

"No?" The Atrox swallowed hard. "Why not?"

"I…" Stanton gulped as if he'd been struggling with this for a long time. "I wannabeafumetaacema!"

"A what?" The now fully attentive crowd leaned in.

"I WANT TO BE A FULL METAL ALCHEMIST!"

The Atrox blinked. "You can't be a full metal alchemist".

Stanton blinked back. "And why not?"

"Because they don't exist!"

"YOU SEE?" Stanton cried. "You don't believe in me! You've never believed in me!"

"Sta-"

"I HATE YOU!"

He groaned. He'd gotten a lot of that today.

"I'm going to be the best full metal alchemist and _no one_- not even you- is going to stop me!"

With that, Stanton stormed out of the room, leaving the Atrox to frown and massage at his temples. This was going to be another long week…

Next is Karyl's POV. The story will change POVs as it goes on. Unless you want me to stay in the Atrox's XD


	2. When a Man Loves a Man

Karyl stepped into the evil board meeting room, Tymmie not far behind him. He didn't understand why the Atrox called these late night meetings when they could be out partying. Probably just to make them miserable...

"Karyl", Tymmie whined, still dressed in his blue Polar Express pajamas. "What's taking so long? He said he was going to be here an hour ago!"

Karyl shrugged and leaned against the wall. "You know how he is".

"But I'm sleepy!" Tymmie's voice grew more irritating and more curious stares came their way.

"We're all sleepy!" Karyl scowled, losing his temper. "If you hadn't have made me stay up and play trains with you all night-"

"I love trains!"

"I hate trains!" Karyl frowned as Tymmie's bottom lip began to quiver. Oh no. Not here.

"T- Tymmie, no. I didn't mean it that way"

Soft sobbing. "You hate me".

"No, of course I don't_ hate_ you".

"You said it!"

"No, I didn't!"

"Yes, you did!"

"I SAID I HATE TRAINS!"

"WAAAAAAAAAAH!" Tymmie's tears broke loose and he sprinted out of the room. Karyl shuffled his feet uncomfortably as every eye in the room pierced into him.

"What're you lookin at?" he grumbled, making his way to sit down across the room, further away from the crowd. He didn't know why he put up with Tymmie. It was like being married. The guy was always whining in his ear and he was such a slob. Their apartment was a mess of trains, hot wheels, legos, and an occasional Barbie doll, all of which Karyl had bought with his own money because heaven forbidTymmie try to keep a job. Anyone else would have murdered Tymmie by now. Hell, he had tried. But when he gazed into those big, adorable eyes- Karyl immediately froze in his seat. Bad thoughts. Bad homosexual thoughts. Think straight. Think straight. Think-

_Straight as a Froot Loop_.

Karyl nearly jumped in his seat. "Kelly! You didn't- I didn't-"

"Calm down". She tossed back her beach blonde hair and let a slow, sultry smile slip over her blood red lips. "How do I look?"

"You know you look good", he sneered. "Why ask me?"

She laughed. "Haven't you heard? Today is the FFASA debut".

"FFASA?"

"Female Followers Against Sexist Acts".

Karyl cocked an eyebrow. "I never would have took you for a feminist".

"Well, you never know, do you?" She grinned, showing two straight rows of pearly white teeth.

"So the Atrox let you call your own board meeting?"

She nodded.

"Suck up", he muttered under his breath. Kelly had become the new "teacher's pet" since Stanton went all "Full Metal Alchemist" and she was using it to her advantage.

"Order!"

Everyone turned to see the Atrox banging a spoon against a glass. "Order here!"

Karyl saw Tymmie entering the room again out of the corner of his eye.

"Now, I have called this meeting today in order to make known the sexual suppression in our community".

Everyone's eyes lit up.

"I didn't mean it like that" The Atrox held out his arm in a grand gesture. "Give a round of applause for the Female Followers Against Sexist Acts!"

A chorus of groans followed the introduction as Kelly, Morgan, and about twenty other girls ascended the stage.

"Hello". Kelly ignored the less than enthusiastic audience. "I've come before you today to discuss the many trials and tribulations that our women are forced to endure everyday".

"Did you know", Morgan started. "That male followers are given twice as much professional attention than female followers each year?"

"Did you know", came another girl with freckles. "That Pandora was blamed for practically every plagued when in truth, it wasn't her who opened that box?"

"Did you know..."

".. It was a man?"

Karyl buried his head in his hands.

"Our people have been oppressed for ages!"

"Oppressed!"

"We will rise!"

"Rise!"

"Rise!"

"Rise!"

"We demand better wages!"

"Better wages!"

"Better treatment!"

"Better treatment!"

"We demand a new leader!"

"WHAT?" Stanton barked.

"That's right", Morgan challenged. "We don't need a Prince of Night!"

"We need a Princess!"

"Princess! Princess! Princess!"

"Did you know" Kelly started a speech over the chant. "That Stanton is a born male chauvinist?"

The audience gasped while Stanton mysteriously scanned Webster's dictionary.

"It's true!" she roared. "Stanton believes in male dominance! He victimizes young girls and finds submission sexy!"

"Jerk! Jerk! Jerk!"

The audience had began to jeer at Stanton who had found what he was looking for and was fuming like a mad man. The Atrox looked on and clapped his hands gleefully.

"WHAT'RE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" Stanton roared.

"What about Cassandra, Stanton?" Morgan yelled. "Remember her?"

"Cassandra", the girls whispered the name fervently among themselves.

"REMEMBER WHAT YOU DID TO HER, STANTON?

"You have no proof!"

"And he wants to be a Full Metal Alchemist!" Kelly spat. "How STUPID is_ that_?"

"Use your common sense!"

"Eliminate the Prince! Eliminate the Prince! Eliminate the Prince!"

The entire audience joined in.

"We demand a recount!"

"What?" Stanton stepped forward. "This isn't the American government, bitch. I was chosen!"

"Well, not anymore". The Atrox beamed at Kelly. "I'm going to allow it".

"YES!"

"NOOOO!" Stanton wailed. His expression suddenly became solemn and his sapphire eyes pierced into hers. "This means war".

* * *

Back at home...

Tymmie took two slices of Wonder Bread. Tymmie placed turkey in-between. Tymmie put them together. And he glared at Karyl.

Tymmie took a bite out of the sandwich. Tymmie chewed roughly. Tymmie winced because he bit his tongue. And he glared at Karyl.

Tymmie-

"Will you stop that?" Karyl looked up from the Dr. Phil book he was reading. "I told you I was sorry!"

"Whatever" Tymmie mumbled defiantly.

"You know, Dr. Phil says that your childish behavior stems from-"

"I don't care what Dr. Phil says!" Tymmie knocked the book from his hands. "It's always about Dr. Phil! All you pay attention to is that stupid book!"

"Look, Tymmie", Karyl growled, rising from his seat. "It's not my fault that you don't know how to read".

"Well, it's not my fault that your sick in the-"

Tymmie never finished his sentence as Karyl had sent him staggering back into the couch. He looked up from the ground, his eyes trembling.

"... you hit meeeeeeeeeeeeee".

"I'm s- you aren't... you're not going to-"

Tymmie started to cry softly.

"Look, I'm sorry! We'll put some alcohol on it! Don't-"

His eyebrows furrowed as footsteps rounded the hall.

"WAAAAAAAH!"

"Shhhh! Tymmie stop!"

More uncontrollable sobs.

He took the boy roughly by the shoulders and shook him wildly. "Tymmie, shut the hell up!"

"WAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Well that worked...

"You hate me!"

"I don't fucking hate you! I just want you to shut up right now!"

Tymmie shot him a death glare, but quieted down. "Fine..."

Karyl rolled his eyes. "I don't understand. You don't act like this around anyone else".

"Well, I don't care about anyone else!"

Karyl gulped. That wasn't a very _straight,_ manly thing to say...

He looked down, realizing that not only was he still holding him, but they were less then inches apart. He brushed a strand of silver from the boy's watery eyes and a half smile curved over his lips. The footsteps had ceased- probably just some drunk kid headed for someone else's apartment- and those homosexual thoughts didn't seem so bad right now. He leaned in slowly and Tymmie made no move to escape. Everything was perfect. The window was open, the breeze was blowing softly, Kelly was there...

KELLY WAS THERE?

"Kelly!" He shoved Tymmie across the room and grinned widely. "What a surprise to see you here... in my apartment... how the hell did you get in?"

She nodded towards the open window. His fists clenched. He knew he hadn't opened that. And it wasn't as if Tymmie knew how.

"What are you doing here?"

Kelly tossed her hair back and filed her perfectly manicured fingernails. "I have a proposition for you".

His eyes grew stony. "If it's anything like that bachelorette party-"

"No, no", she laughed, closing in on him. "It's just a simple favor". Her claws pierced into his shoulders. "A trifle really".

Good. Because he was never popping out of a cake again. "Well?" He pulled away from her.

"I want you to join the FFASA. Our male audience is-"

"No".

"Please?"

"No".

"Karyl-"

"No".

She gave a heavy sigh and raised her arms. "I didn't want it to come to this... but I don't think you have a choice...". She eyed Tymmie.

He gasped. "YOU'RE GOING TO KIDNAP TYMMIE?"

"No, you idiot!" she snarled. "I'm going to blackmail you".

He laughed. "You think you can blackmail me?"

"Yes."

"Well... you can't".

"That's what you think". She started towards the door. "I'm sure that the Atrox'll be more than happy to find that his two boys are all grown up and having sex... with each other".

"We we're not having sex!" Karyl roared. "We weren't doing anything! We were just-"

"What do you call this?" She held up her digital camera and showed them the screen.

_Fuck..._

"I call it: Yes Kelly. I will work for you and do all that I can to please the FFASA".

"Yes Kelly" Tymmie and Karyl rang in unison. "We will work for you and do all that we can to please the FFASA".

Kelly beamed proudly and put her hands to her hips.

"Now for your first assignment..."

* * *

"GAH!" Stanton wailed, stepping out of his evil lair. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

Karyl flinched slightly. "Can't two old friends drop by to see you every once in a while?"

"Yeah" Tymmie agreed. "You really let the whole Prince thing go to your head, eh?"

Stanton crossed his arms. "We were never "friends". And if I didn't know that you two weren't stupid enough to defy me, I'd think you were up to something".

"Up to something?" Karyl gasped. "I'm offended".

"Apalled".

Stanton stared at them both for a few seconds. "Well as long as your around, I suppose you wouldn't mind cleaning my evil lair".

Karyl bit his lips. Stanton was such a slob... "Um..."

"It isn't as if the two of you have anything better to do anyway". He smirked.

Karyl hated that smirk. "You know, we're tired of you disrespecting us, Stanton! We provide comic relief to pretty boys like you and we deserve a hell of a lot more than-"

"By seven o' clock". Stanton loomed over them with a pail and a wash cloth.

"Seven o' clock", they squeaked.

Hours later...

Karyl scrubbed relentlessly at the ground with every fiber of his being.

"It's hopeless", Tymmie moaned.

"The dirt doesn't come off".

"Have I ever told you two how pathetic you are?"

Karyl grimaced. "You better get out of here, Kelly. Stanton-"

"He won't be back for a while. He went to see that little whore again" She strolled about, making faces at the dingy walls. "Has no sense of fashion", she muttered, scribbling the words down in her notebook. She snapped a few pictures with her digital camera before turning back to them. "So what do you have for me?"

Karyl pulled a clipboard out from the interior of his jacket. "Twelve A.M. This morning: Stanton watched the forty fourth episode of Full Metal Alchemist and cried at the end. He spent the next few hours sulking over chocolate ice cream and some blonde guy. Three thirty A.M. Stanton snuck the darker haired Goddess over and lavished her in chocolate and expensive perfume. Four A.M. Stanton spent an hour begging her to sleep with him. No such luck. Five A.M. Stanton masturbates alone on the couch. Six A.M. Stanton cries. Six thirty A.M. Stanton goes to work and has an argument with the Atrox over his new duds and hairstyle: A black tank and jacket with matching pants, a red trench coat, and a braid with bangs. Not to mention his flashy new pocket watch. Eight thirty A.M. Stanton tries unsuccessfully to turn a piece of metal into a sphere with his bare hands and a strange white circle. Ten A.M. Stanton gives up and makes some popcorn. Eleven A.M. Stanton watches more Full Metal Alchemist to see what he did wrong. Twelve P.M. Stanton steps outside for some fresh air, finds us there, and takes his miserable existence out on us".

"Masturbation, eh?" Kelly scribbled something down. "What's wrong? Men too good for women nowadays?" She turned towards the door. "Anyhoo, I have to be off. Don't miss the debate tonight". She smirked. "It's gonna be a good one".

* * *

Karyl sighed from the sidelines and tried to focus his attentions on the stage rather than his mass headache.

"Hello and welcome!" Murray's voice boomed from the speakers. "To the first annual Prince/ Princess of Night elections! I'm your host, Murray and these are your lovely contestants!"

"Murray, this is **not** a beauty pageant!" The Atrox called from his private box. "Do it right!"

"Yes, your majesty! There on the right corner standing six feet tall is the potent, the powerful-"

"MURRAY!"

"JUST KIDDING! The judges have decided and Kelly will start the debate! Good night and GOOD LUCK! You're gonna need it".

Kelly approached her podium on the left side of the stage and brushed a few strands of blonde from her eyes. She ran her fingers seductively down the black material of her businesswoman suit, receiving a chorus of howls and wolf whistles from the audience. Stanton scoffed from the right side of the stage.

"Your majesty! She's provoking exactly what she opposes!"

"I'll allow it!" the Atrox boomed.

"No fair!"

"You misunderstand me, Stanton", Kelly sneered. "I stated that women should be empowered. I never said we couldn't have any fun". She winked at a few lucky guys and Stanton groaned.

"Anyway, when asked what I would do to represent the ultimate evil, I responded that I would make the Atrox proud and by that I mean eliminating every negative influence in our path. That means the daughters... and STANTON!"

The audience gasped.

"That's right. Stanton. Are you aware that he cannot harm one daughter and fancies another?"

A score of overlapping "I didn't know"s rose from the crowd.

Kelly nodded. "It's true. He's had many chances to turn both of them, but he didn't because of two silly human virtues: Love and appreciation. That, my friends, is something I like to call treason!"

"TREASON!" the audience chanted.

"If he were a true prince of darkness, he would have killed them both! Now two daughters still exist! Two daughters are still alive because your prince is a pussy!"

"Hey!" Stanton brought his fist down against his podium.

"It's time we climbed out of this rut! It's time we moved on!"

"YES!"

"Use your common sense, people". She stepped forward. "Eliminate the Prince!"

"USE YOUR COMMON SENSE! ELIMINATE THE PRINCE! USE YOUR COMMON SENSE! ELIMINATE THE PRINCE!"

"Vote Kelly". She smiled evilly and nodded towards Murray.

"USE YOUR- heheheheheh... OKAY! Stanton? Your rebuttal?"

Stanton, as red as a tomato, took a step towards the crowd. "Hello!"

"Boooooooooooooooo!"

"Hisssssssssssssssssssss!"

"Um... I'm Stanton and-"

"We know that!"

"Your outfit sucks!"

Stanton clenched his fists. "SHUT THE HELL UP!"

The audience became silent.

"Now, you've accused me of treason, but I'm afraid you're mistaken. I'm only using the Goddess. She's the key, remember?"

Whispers spread throughout the audience.

"Why are you taking so long?" a random man asked.

"Because Serena is the youngest of the four. I can use that to my advantage. If I were to strike now, there's still a chance that her friends may interfere. But if they've all turned seventeen, there's nothing they can do. We'll be unstoppable".

The audience silenced and Kelly cursed.

"But why don't you get her friends out of the way now then?" another voice asked.

"Do you really think that would be wise considering the number of objectives they've led us too, including the secret scroll? It's to our advantage to keep them around. Why? You aren't afraid of the challenge are you?" He shot Kelly an insolent smirk. "I'd check my facts if I were you". He turned to the audience. "And I'd vote for someone who has them straight".

More whispering.

Murray eyed Kelly. "Your rebuttal?"

Kelly swallowed hard and stepped forward. "Okay, that may be true... but did you know that Stanton is a masturbator?"

The audience shrieked in surprise.

Stanton gave a nervous laugh. "Wh- what?"

"Weren't you masturbating at five this morning?"

"How did _you_ know?" Stanton gulped. "I mean-"

"SEE?"

Karyl shook his head at the now chaotic audience. "Our ruler shouldn't be chosen on grounds of masturbation".

"You're telling me", Tymmie agreed, his hands suspiciously out of sight.

"This is crazy!" Stanton cried. "So I masturbate! Like none of you do it!"

"We don't". Kelly crossed her arms. "You do. And that makes you a sick immortal being. Do we want a sick immortal being on our throne?"

"NO!"

"Then what are we gonna do?"

"USE OUR COMMON SENSE! ELIMINATE THE PRINCE!"

"IS THIS JUSTICE?" Stanton bellowed.

"We're evil!"

"We don't _do_ justice!"

Falling to the ground, Stanton lay his palms face down on the stage. Karyl realized that he was drawing something.

Tymmie rolled his eyes. "Don't worry, Karyl. He's trying to make another one of those stupid-"

BOOM!

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"


	3. The Return of Steve

Authors Note:

Oh, I've been gone too long. I thought I'd given up on DOTM, but then I pulled out the first page of the rough draft I had started for this chapter that I'd written way back in February and decided to continue. I also must continue "Stanton" and I want to finish "14 Going on 25", but it seems like the hardest to complete. For everyone, if any, who reads this, thanks for being patient.

* * *

Also, keep in mind that I have just gotten out of an almost year long writers block. My writing has suffered from it and even though some of the things you read may be excruciatingly painful, I AM trying to recover and be as good as I was before if not better.

* * *

A cloaked, hooded figure walked into the Atrox's office and eyed the piles of endless paperwork on it's desk. The Atrox was cursing as usual and throwing office supplies at the walls. _He_ flinched as a stapler barely missed _his_ head. The Atrox was in no mood to do paperwork, let alone be reckoned with. But _he _would get what_ he _wanted. _He_ _always_ got what_ he _wanted. 

Most of the time.

Occasionally.

Okay, never...

But this time he was gonna!

"Can I help you?" the Atrox growled.

The hooded figure nodded. "I want to try out".

The Atrox gave him a strange look. "Try out?"

"You know. For the team".

"What team?"

"Your team! The evil team! The followers?"

The Atrox leaned back and stroked the spot where his chin should have been in consideration.

"Can you do a back flip?"

The hooded figure did an exceptional back flip.

"Can you throw?"

He took the Atrox's eraser and tossed it straight through the hole in his pencil sharpener.

"Can you sing?"

He did a perfect enactment of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody, complete with choreography, more back flips, and batons.

"Amazing! Simply amazing!" The Atrox applauded wildy before retreating back to his paperwork. "But unfortunately, I already have enough trouble with the idiots that I _did_ hire... Go try Wal-mart. Or that Voldemort guy..."

"But, My Lord", the figure bowed as a wry smile slipped over his unseen lips. "I'm afraid you don't have much of a choice".

The Atrox laughed. "Do you mean to challenge _me? _I'm the Atrox!"

His smile widened as he pulled out a sheet of green paper. "Affirmative Action".

The Atrox, having no knowledge of the American law, blinked dumbly. "Wha?"

"Affirmative Action. I'm a minority. You have to let me in".

The Atrox's eyes narrowed. "Prove it".

He took a feather from his pocket and plopped it on the top of his hood. A thick silence spread through out the room and he started to worry. If his Native American disguise didn't work, there was always the sombrero and Afro in his cloak.

"Fine", The Atrox finally mumbled, not really giving a damn anymore. "You're in".

"WOOT!" The hooded man roared and did a few back flips across the office.

The Atrox held up a big, black jacket that read in big, fiery letters: ATROX: THE OFFICIAL SWEATSHIRT. Made in China. "Here. Now you'll go downstairs to the prison quarters which you'll be guarding until further notice. Is that clear?"

"Crystal".

The Atrox pulled out a name tag and handed it to the man along with a purple gel pen. _He_ bent down to scribble the perfect pseudonym onto the paper. No one would ever catch _him_ with _this_ disguise: Lam Bert.

"Lam?" The Atrox furrowed his eyebrows suspiciously and Lambert bit his bottom lip.

"That doesn't sound like an Indian name to me".

"It's a lost tribe", Lambert explained smugly before departing the room, determined to find the object of his demise A.K.A Stanton.

* * *

"Hello, ladies", Lambert waved at the prisoners with his night stick. He recognized them both immediately. Aura had possessed the darker haired girl in order to deceive Stanton and he'd fought with the blonde in battle. If he talked to them long enough, he might be able to determine the whereabouts of Stanton. 

"Who're you?" Serena asked.

"Mr. Bert", he grinned. "I'll be your prison guard for the day".

The girls simply blinked at him and continued with whatever conversation they had been indulged in before he came in. Meanwhile, Lambert posed in a nearby hall mirror.

_Does this shirt make me look fat?_

Perhaps if he hadn't pulled it over his cloak...

"... it's crazy. All Stanton talks about now is sex".

Lambert's curiosity sparked up. "Did you say the S- word?"

Serena raised an eyebrow. "Shit?"

"No."

"Sex?"

"No!"

"Stanton?"

"That's the one".

She crossed her arms, suspicion crossing her face. "What do you want with Stanton?"

Lambert let out a demented cackle. "What do I want with Stanton?" He rubbed his palms together and licked his lips. "What do_ I_ want with Stanton?"

He stopped to see looks of disgust on both their faces.

"N-no! Atrox, no! I didn't mean it like_ that! _I meant it in a murderous, "I want your blood" sort of way. You know?"

They continued to stare at him.

"I... I'm gonna go now".

* * *

"Dammit! Dammit-Dammit-Dammit! DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!" Lambert kicked an unsuspecting rock across the hall. 

"Ow!"

"Sorry, Zoe", he muttered. Stupid fallen daughters getting in the way of his rock...

"Lambert?" Zoe massaged at dark her tresses before pulling at his hood.

"Hey!" He backed away. "YOU WANNA GET ME KILLED?"

"Sorry... aren't you supposed to be dead?"

"Aren't _you_?"

"Yes, but when I found out what happened to Catty I just had to convince Selene to let me come back. She pulled out a flyer that read "FREE CATTY". "Her father is holding her captive!"

"I don't..."

"But every time I try to help her, he has me blasted on sight".

"... really care".

"So I've decided to go see Stanton about it".

"Look, woman. I asked why you weren't dead. Not for your entire life stor- STANTON, YOU SAY?"

"Y- yes".

"You know where he lives?"

She nodded.

"You must take me there!"

"O-okay..."

* * *

Maniacal laughter echoed from the bushes where Lambert was hiding. "Soon, Stanton. Sooooon". 

_Living in the sunlight_

_Loving in the moonlight_

_Having a wonderful time_

Someone's voice echoed from across the garden.

_Just take it from me_

_I'm just as free as any daughteeer_

Lambert cocked an eyebrow. Why did that high falsetto voice seem strangely familiar?

_I do what I like_

_Just what I like_

_And how I Lo-OVE it_

"TYMMIE!"

"IIIIEE!" the boy screeched in his normal tone.

"YOU TRAITOR!" He took in the boy's french maid outfit. "WHY ARE YOU WATERING STANTON'S FLOWERS?"

"He... he made me do it! I swear!" Tymmie dropped the water kettle. His eyes watered as he closed in for a hug. "I thought you were dead!"

"Don't touch me", Lambert growled. He glanced up at Stanton's windows. "What could be taking Zoe so long?"

Tymmie shrugged. "Wanna play a game?"

"No".

"Wanna play IT?"

"No".

"Red Rover?"

"No."

"Doctor?"

"..."

He let out a sigh of relief as the marble double doors opened and Zoe walked out. "Thank you so much, Stanton!"

Stanton waved from the balcony before walking back into the castle.

Lambert bounced like a five year old on Christmas. "Now's my chance! I finally get to kill Stanton!"

"What was that?" Tymmie blinked.

"Nothing". He crept up to the door, a black book in his hand, and rang the doorbell.

A few footsteps clumped over the hall and an annoyed Stanton opened the door.

"Yes?"

"Stantonnnn!" Lambert hissed, unable to keep the maniacal spark from his eyes. "I mean! Have _you_ given your soul to the devil yet?"

Stanton rolled his eyes. "I'm busy". His grip tightened on the door knob. "Come back another day".

"Not so fast!" Lambert jammed his foot in the doorway before Stanton could close it. "With Satan you can live again!" He held up the book.

Stanton growled. "I'm living just fine!"

"Now we both know that isn't true".

"Damn Lucifer Witnesses... go bother someone ELSE!" he threatened, slamming Lambert's leg in the door on the last note.

"AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH!" he moaned in agony. "Stanton wait!" He knew he should have went for the girl scout guise... Who could resist cookies? "Stanton please! It's me! Your long lost... best friend!"

Astill silencefell over them accompanied by the sound of Tymmie humming a gay little tune in the garden. The door slowly opened to reveal a bewildered Stanton. The princedropped to one knee before taking one of Lambert's hands.

"St- Steve?"

Lambert swallowed hard. He had no idea who Steve was. "Y- yup! That's me!"

Stanton's eyes began to water. "I... I never thought I'd see you again. I missed you so much!"

"Yup..." Lambert squeaked before being wrapped into a huge bear hug. "GYAH!"

"Why didn't you write me? Or call me? Haven't you ever heard of EMAIL? GAWD! If I'd known you were alive, I'd... wait".

Lambert put on a wide grin. "Yup?"

"How could you be alive? You're mortal. You would have died centuries ago".

"Yup".

Stanton stared at him.

Okay. That wasn't working anymore. "Um... that guy turned me. You know that guy".

"What guy?"

"That... one guy. The tall... guy".

Stanton raised an eyebrow.

"You probably don't know him... He was a hobo. Much too low for your standards!"

"Oh!" Stanton grinned. "I know who you mean. Ugly? In serious need of lotion?"

"Uh, sure." Why not?

"Lambert!"

Lambert clenched his teeth. "No... I remember Lambert being a much more handsome fellow-"

"No way!" Stanton patted him on the back. "I think your memory needs a jolt, Steve. Lambert was one ugly son of a bitch".

Lambert started to see red.

"And I mean that literally"

"Grrr..." He bit down hard on his lip. _Must. Not. Blow. Cover._

"Don't even get me started on his mother..."

Too late. "YOU'RE NOT HALF THE FOLLOWER I EVER WAS!"

Stanton's eyes widened. "Whoa, Steve! Cool it, man".

Lambert huffed and puffed as Stanton guided him into his home, still chuckling at his own pathetic jokes. He smirked, letting his thoughts calm him. He'd murder that idiot and over throw his entire kingdom.

Then they'd see who had the last laugh...


End file.
